Dia de los Muertos

Happy Samhain! Happy Days of the Dead!

Though I always celebrate Samhain, the past few years my friends and I have been drifting the Dia de los Muertos direction. The similarities between the two holidays is uncanny, and my friends and I are totally embracing the imagery of the mexican holiday. We love the funky fun skeletons dressed in fancy clothes and doing daily things; the papel picado... tissue paper cut like paper snowflakes only with images of skulls and flowers; sugar skulls decorated all fancy like cakes, and altars covered in pictures of beloved family and friends who have passed on, but are not forgotten. Instead they are celebrated. Their lives are celebrated, their deaths are celebrated, because they have moved on to a better place, and the cycle of life continues with their passing. Because I was intrigued by the holiday since my friends had brought it into my life, I did a little research on it this year. The actual day of it is November 1st (my son's birthday, which was another reason I wanted to learn more about it) but usually the preparations begin much sooner, and sometimes celebrations actually begin on October 31 and continue through November 2. When we gathered friday night, we were setting up our Dia de los Muertos altar and talking about the sugar skulls on it (my friends Tina and Cat had been making sugar skulls since August!!! I have to take pictures of the ones I got.. the picture here are not the ones Tina made), someone asked about the small skulls at the top. Karen said that those were there for the angel babies, her daughter-in-law had lost a baby to miscarriage, and Karen had lost a twin brother in-utero. My other friend Cassie is so observant... she must have seen something on my face, and asked did I need a little skull there too. I did, so I picked one out and put it up there. Karen went on to say that when celebrating Dia de los Muertos, angel babies are given highest priority, they are always celebrated first, even given a whole day of celebration before the rest of the dead are celebrated. And they hold the highest place of honor on the altar. That felt good to know... and it made me wonder if some mamas who'd lost their little angels would feel better if they too celebrated Dia de los Muertos. Society wants us to forget our dead, forget our lost babies or at least.. keep it quiet because no one wants to talk about death or your lost baby. But Dia de los Muertos isn't about remembering our lost loved ones with sorrow, it's about remembering them with joy for the time they were with us, about releasing the remaining sorrow by celebrating, by inviting them to celebrate with us for a short time each year.

So, this year I celebrated my loved family and friends who have passed on:

my angel baby, who passed from my life so quickly, but whom I loved from the moment I saw that positive test

My Grandpa Fry - the first family member who passed on that affected me, because I loved him so much. He never had a negative thing to say about anyone, and accepted everyone as a child of God, regardless of gender or skin color.

My Grandma Fry - Who could make me laugh so hard that tears would run down my face, and whose frugality is still a lesson I try to learn.

My Aunt Deloris - who passed on almost one year ago. She would give and give, never expecting anything in return and if she loved you, she loved you unconditionally. Her lesson to me is that there is NOTHING you can't do, if you really want to do it. She never got past 8th grade, and the only reason she made it that far is her last year of school they brought in a special ed teacher, the first ever in that part of the state. Yet, this woman, who kept a dictionary handy every time she read anything so that she could understand it, managed to travel to several countries (some of them more than once) and had wonderful adventures that the average person only wishes they could have.

My Grandma Dee - She was the rock on my paternal side. She made the peace, kept the seas calm, and she never judged. I recently learned that there was much more to her than I ever knew, and had I ever had a baby girl, I was going to name her after Grandma Dora (we called her Dee)

Grandpa Donner - He had his flaws, but he also had his good side. He raised my dad and my uncles, all good men. For that I am thankful.

And good friends who have passed:
Ron - He's the one I wished was an uncle. He had SO MUCH wisdom, and you just kind of absorbed from him through osmosis, because he wasn't into lectures. He was also great fun, and we looked up to him as a role model.

Cindy - I had some great adventures with Cindy! Because of her, I began to come out of my shell and do things. She wasn't particularly outgoing or anything, but I got to be an adventurous geek because of her, and met all kinds of interesting people like, George Takai who sang a love song to Cindy; Walter Koenig, whom Cindy and a few others of us got to drive around town when he was here; Majel Barrett, Michael Dorn, James Doohan and so many others. I wish I had taken more pictures of all of us.

And I celebrate all my unnamed ancestors whose lives shaped those of us who followed.

Happy Dia de los Muertos!

hello from Babelistan

Not much going on. I made a goddess. Isn't she pretty? In spite of the red, she is calming to me.

Today I watched Daughters of Afghanistan. I checked out the dvd from my public library. It's aimed at middle/high school students, so there's nothing graphic in it. But it is still very sad, and I cried in a few spots. It reminded me of the movie "Osama" which is NOT about bin Laden, but about a young girl who is disguised by her widowed mother as a boy, so that she can get a job, so they won't starve to death. "Osama" is the first movie produced by Afghani film-making since the fall of the Taliban, and it paints a pretty horrid picture of what life was like under the Taliban. In fact, I had watched it while I was pregnant, which was a big mistake. Not something I recommend doing.... I actually own a burqa, a real one from Afghanistan. I had the opportunity to request that someone stationed there bring me something, and I asked for a burqa. I suspect he thought I was nuts. But I have since used it as an educational tool when I've done dance demos for school age kids. Funny thing... I can't get the burqa on my head. Even most of the petite ladies I know can't get it on their heads. It's an adult woman's burqa but it's too small for most american women... what does that say? that people are so undernourished there that they can't even grow as big as us? Most people who put it on feel claustrophobic in it. By the way, that guy also sent a couple other things, which was very nice, a couple hats that can be used for fun costuming.

Then, ironically, I watched an Elvis flick, "Harem Scarem". I'm not a huge fan of Elvis, but this was on some "belly dancer's list of campy flicks to watch with fake belly dancers in it", so I watched it. OMG, the sets reminded me of classic Star Trek sets... I fully expected to see some familiar set that was missing my favorite ripped-shirted captain, but no... no Kirk or Spock sets. I did watch the flick too close to the Afghanistan movie though. For the first 15 minutes of the film I kept thinking to myself "if this were for real, that woman would have been stoned" or similar. It was definitely a campy B film, had a lot of dumb racist stuff. Elvis was a crappy actor in it... is he a crappy actor in general? or was he just not feeling this movie specifically? Oh, and the creepy scene where he sung to the 9 year old girl (who was a better "belly dancer" than the women who were supposed to be the dancers) smacked of pedophilia and he would definitely not have gotten away with something like that today. Otherwise... I actually laughed a couple times in the movie... probably not as intended, but just because it was so silly. Oh, and the costumes also reminded me of Star Trek. Campy but fun. Totally inaccurate for the middle east of ANY time... in fact, most of the stuff the women wore looked like it was based on costumes from India. But that's okay, as I recall, none of the Elvis flicks were intended to be taken seriously?

I've been sick today, which is why I've been watching dvds. I also watched the Wiggles twice and a Thomas the Train dvd 4 times. (while Kevin was home and up). I was so done with the Choo Choo vid that I made Kevin watch a boring belly dance workout video, which I did not attempt to do the workout, though I did a few arm things which Kevin thought was hilarious, and tried to copy. He also showed me he knows how to do Downward Dog... His sitter does yoga, so I am wondering if she sometimes does yoga while the boys are up. Speaking of his mimicing... He also knows almost all of the stuff on Wiggle Time... he does all the animal sounds and gestures, hops and stomps... it's not perfect but he does the stuff with the video and it's so dang cute. I need to teach him some dance stuff. :)

Garden

I have a plan for my yard. I decided to create a separate blog for it though.

Go here http://dancingarden.blogspot.com/ if you are interested in it. :)

Busy busy

Technically I've really only been busy with Kevin most of the time. ;) Not doing anything super exciting. LOL

Most weekends I (and usually James) take Kevin to the Family Museum. It's a nice big place for him to run, and there are things he loves to play with there. Come Fall, we'll be buying a membership so that it doesn't cost us to get in every time.

At least one day on the weekend, I work out in the yard. I'm going to start a blog just for my gardening experience.

I had a bunch of stones out to charge under the full moon. I have a purpose for them, and plan to photograph the stages of what I'm going to do with them and post here. If I can find the stuff I bought to use. I hate when I lose things. :P

What the Bleep!

I finally FINALLY watched What the Bleep Do We Know?!. It had been recommended to me ages ago, and I never got around to getting it, whether renting or borrowing from the friend who recommended it.

It is my new favorite documentary. I've watched it twice so far. I L.O.V.E. this film. I am ordering the expanded version, Down the Rabbit Hole, off amazon. Everyone MUST see this film...

And the funny thing is... it is basically explaining what my coven and I have been teaching in our Wicca classes and to each other since I joined the coven (in '94) and long before I came along. I don't know about other people's Wicca except what I've learned directly from other witches I've worked with, but really, magic and prayer (in my opinion) are really just quantum physics.

I am really looking forward to getting the expanded version.

I wonder if I can get J to watch it... and GET it. I've been trying to explain some of these concepts to him and he just doesn't GET it. I wonder if it's just because it's me... or if he really doesn't want to GET IT... doesn't want to accept responsibility for his reality.

On saturday, when Kevin and I were out and about. I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, and saw on the corner a guy holding a pole with 3 signs, all the same sign... advertising some going-out-of-business sale (the sale has been going on for a month). He was just standing on this corner, holding this pole of signs. It was almost 90 degress out and the sun was beating down on this poor guy. It probably felt like 95 with all that concrete around. He was probably just some poor schmuck who got laid off, and "lucky" break for him, he got picked that morning at the LaborReady temp office to work that corner. He looked like a decent guy. Hot and sweating and his tanned skin turning red with a burn. It only took me a moment to decide to try to get in the other lane so I could swing around, making a stop at the kwik shop a block away so I could get him a bottle or two of cold water. Just as I had started to figure out how to change lanes at the stop light, someone else pulled up next to him and gave him a bottle of cold water. Stellar!!! I got a lump in my throat, because I wasn't the only one that felt for him. It gave me a little hope for the world, and I drove on saying a blessing for those folks in that car and a hope that the guy on that corner has a turn around on his luck so he doesn't have to stand on that corner again.

all over the place

I've been thinking about this blog. I feel it has something missing. Kind of like there are things missing from my life. Since I'm not blogging anywhere else anymore, and if I'm expecting to journal whatever is meaningful to me, I'm going to have to write everything I feel like writing. I had other blogs for writing about other parts of my life, but it's too much time and trouble to go to three or four websites to journal. And I didn't go to them (or here) because I get intimidated when I feel like I *have* to blog everywhere. lol... so anyway, I'm only going to "blog" two places. Here, which is my all around blog, and everything baby which is mostly for stuff related to my son.

One thing I feel missing in my life is my magic. I've lived so mundanely the last several years. And I feel like I've lost the connection I had to my Divine. So I am going to be working on that, and posting about it. I have some plans for things to start on this weekend. I am even thinking of posting some step by steps on a few things in case anyone else wants to do some of it.

Another thing I need to work on is me... my attitude. How I express myself to some people. Sometimes I feel myself turning into Bitch Queen of the Universe and I don't like doing that. I need to stop that attitude crap. Putting negative energy out into the world is only going to bring me negative energy back, and goddess knows I don't need any more negative crap in my life.

I watched a documentary called "Jesus Camp" on netflix. I'd heard a lot of negative about it... how it was so extreme and stuff. And yeah, it was extreme and it bothered me how the adults got the kids so worked up into tears and stuff, and how some of the kids would spout some of their evangalistic jargon as if they were brainwashed. But I also was very familiar with it all... when I was the age of most of those kids in that film, I went to a "charismatic" church very like the one in the film. People at the church spoke in "tongues" and people were "slain in the spirit" and various other things that are common in such churches. Anyway, I don't mind churches like that, but it makes me sad that young minds are being closed so tightly at such young ages, without even the opportunity to honestly choose the path they are walking. Those kids have never known any other spiritual path, don't know anything about any other path... although, now that I think of it, any other path is automatically satan worship regardless of what anyone says... I remember that now. Anyway, there was one really ironic point in the film, that actually had me laugh out loud. The adult preacher had the kids worked up into tears and they were going on and on about something they thought was bad in their lives... doubt maybe? anyway, that had these ceramic mugs or whatever, and the kids were told to smash these mugs and it would be smashing their doubt or whatever it was that was bad in their lives. HELLO. Magic! Gotta love seeing actual magic being done in fundie charismatic church. I'm sure they wouldn't call it that, but hey, if I took a dish and wrote "doubt" on it, and smashed it, while in my sacred space, we call that a magic spell.

Speaking of remembering stuff from that time... Lets see, I went to that fundie charismatic church back when I was 14-16. (I hesitate to call it christian because I don't really think they are about Christ as much as they think) then I took a break from churching to have a boyfriend (yeah, I SINNED!) and then join the air force. I was stationed at a base about an hour east of Pensacola where my aunt and her family lived, and I visited them a lot. Well it was because of her that I'd originally gone to that fundie church, and she started trying to convince me I'd backslid and needed to return to the fold. She started telling me that I had demons in me, and that her church had learned out to exorcise demons. Now, her daughter, my cousin, was still a kid. Maybe 11? she of course heard all this too, and had terrible nightmares because of it! I mean SCREAMING nightmares! how is that right? Anyway, out of deference to my aunt, I let her drag me to the church to be exorcised. She told me when the demons come out, there might be vomit or ectoplasm or some shit like that coming out too. Pea soup! a la The Exorcist you know? LMAO.

Nothing happened.

But that was my fault you see.. the demons had a good hold on me and I wouldn't let them out either. The church people insisted that I needed to come back several times to get them all out because I resisted.

Whatever. I didn't go back. it was crazy! I mean, they were trying to tell me that the care bear my mom sent me put a demon in me. Not to mention (gasp!) the dungeons and dragons game I played. Oh, those were the days too... back when a D&D game could last for 48 hours. Straight. I miss that (well, not so much now... I don't have the stamina I did when I was 19 or 20)

Really. I loved my aunt dearly, but she was pretty gullible. It's really too bad that there are churches out there that tell people that crap.

long time no blog

I am so bad. I got busy or lazy and didn't post on my blog.

I didn't get the job in my previous post. Apparently the department director decided she didn't want anyone who already worked in the department, so it didn't matter how qualified I was for the job, I wouldn't have gotten it no matter what. Bitch. I am still a little bitter about it.

Today the belly dancers are walking in the 4th of July parade. So soon I'm going to have to get ready in my red, white and blue costume. At least it's not going to be hot as hades this year. Last year we also got stuck on the wrong side of a train, and then were forced to walk fast to catch up to the rest of the parade. So instead of dance walking... we had to practically run. We were SO wiped out last year it wasn't funny. I sure hope there's no train this year. That would suck ass.

In new news, I am taking two internet classes through my local community college. Speed Spanish and intro to Excel. The intro class is probably mostly too easy however it's a prerequisite to continue to the next classes. I am currently the person who knows how to use it best at work, and I barely know it all, so I decided I'm going to be as expert as I can so that people at work will need me more. I'm going to do the same with Access. I already get called to help someone 3 or 4 times a day, might as well know even more. The spanish class is hard though.

ok, need to get ready for the parade.