What the Bleep!

I finally FINALLY watched What the Bleep Do We Know?!. It had been recommended to me ages ago, and I never got around to getting it, whether renting or borrowing from the friend who recommended it.

It is my new favorite documentary. I've watched it twice so far. I L.O.V.E. this film. I am ordering the expanded version, Down the Rabbit Hole, off amazon. Everyone MUST see this film...

And the funny thing is... it is basically explaining what my coven and I have been teaching in our Wicca classes and to each other since I joined the coven (in '94) and long before I came along. I don't know about other people's Wicca except what I've learned directly from other witches I've worked with, but really, magic and prayer (in my opinion) are really just quantum physics.

I am really looking forward to getting the expanded version.

I wonder if I can get J to watch it... and GET it. I've been trying to explain some of these concepts to him and he just doesn't GET it. I wonder if it's just because it's me... or if he really doesn't want to GET IT... doesn't want to accept responsibility for his reality.

On saturday, when Kevin and I were out and about. I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, and saw on the corner a guy holding a pole with 3 signs, all the same sign... advertising some going-out-of-business sale (the sale has been going on for a month). He was just standing on this corner, holding this pole of signs. It was almost 90 degress out and the sun was beating down on this poor guy. It probably felt like 95 with all that concrete around. He was probably just some poor schmuck who got laid off, and "lucky" break for him, he got picked that morning at the LaborReady temp office to work that corner. He looked like a decent guy. Hot and sweating and his tanned skin turning red with a burn. It only took me a moment to decide to try to get in the other lane so I could swing around, making a stop at the kwik shop a block away so I could get him a bottle or two of cold water. Just as I had started to figure out how to change lanes at the stop light, someone else pulled up next to him and gave him a bottle of cold water. Stellar!!! I got a lump in my throat, because I wasn't the only one that felt for him. It gave me a little hope for the world, and I drove on saying a blessing for those folks in that car and a hope that the guy on that corner has a turn around on his luck so he doesn't have to stand on that corner again.

all over the place

I've been thinking about this blog. I feel it has something missing. Kind of like there are things missing from my life. Since I'm not blogging anywhere else anymore, and if I'm expecting to journal whatever is meaningful to me, I'm going to have to write everything I feel like writing. I had other blogs for writing about other parts of my life, but it's too much time and trouble to go to three or four websites to journal. And I didn't go to them (or here) because I get intimidated when I feel like I *have* to blog everywhere. lol... so anyway, I'm only going to "blog" two places. Here, which is my all around blog, and everything baby which is mostly for stuff related to my son.

One thing I feel missing in my life is my magic. I've lived so mundanely the last several years. And I feel like I've lost the connection I had to my Divine. So I am going to be working on that, and posting about it. I have some plans for things to start on this weekend. I am even thinking of posting some step by steps on a few things in case anyone else wants to do some of it.

Another thing I need to work on is me... my attitude. How I express myself to some people. Sometimes I feel myself turning into Bitch Queen of the Universe and I don't like doing that. I need to stop that attitude crap. Putting negative energy out into the world is only going to bring me negative energy back, and goddess knows I don't need any more negative crap in my life.

I watched a documentary called "Jesus Camp" on netflix. I'd heard a lot of negative about it... how it was so extreme and stuff. And yeah, it was extreme and it bothered me how the adults got the kids so worked up into tears and stuff, and how some of the kids would spout some of their evangalistic jargon as if they were brainwashed. But I also was very familiar with it all... when I was the age of most of those kids in that film, I went to a "charismatic" church very like the one in the film. People at the church spoke in "tongues" and people were "slain in the spirit" and various other things that are common in such churches. Anyway, I don't mind churches like that, but it makes me sad that young minds are being closed so tightly at such young ages, without even the opportunity to honestly choose the path they are walking. Those kids have never known any other spiritual path, don't know anything about any other path... although, now that I think of it, any other path is automatically satan worship regardless of what anyone says... I remember that now. Anyway, there was one really ironic point in the film, that actually had me laugh out loud. The adult preacher had the kids worked up into tears and they were going on and on about something they thought was bad in their lives... doubt maybe? anyway, that had these ceramic mugs or whatever, and the kids were told to smash these mugs and it would be smashing their doubt or whatever it was that was bad in their lives. HELLO. Magic! Gotta love seeing actual magic being done in fundie charismatic church. I'm sure they wouldn't call it that, but hey, if I took a dish and wrote "doubt" on it, and smashed it, while in my sacred space, we call that a magic spell.

Speaking of remembering stuff from that time... Lets see, I went to that fundie charismatic church back when I was 14-16. (I hesitate to call it christian because I don't really think they are about Christ as much as they think) then I took a break from churching to have a boyfriend (yeah, I SINNED!) and then join the air force. I was stationed at a base about an hour east of Pensacola where my aunt and her family lived, and I visited them a lot. Well it was because of her that I'd originally gone to that fundie church, and she started trying to convince me I'd backslid and needed to return to the fold. She started telling me that I had demons in me, and that her church had learned out to exorcise demons. Now, her daughter, my cousin, was still a kid. Maybe 11? she of course heard all this too, and had terrible nightmares because of it! I mean SCREAMING nightmares! how is that right? Anyway, out of deference to my aunt, I let her drag me to the church to be exorcised. She told me when the demons come out, there might be vomit or ectoplasm or some shit like that coming out too. Pea soup! a la The Exorcist you know? LMAO.

Nothing happened.

But that was my fault you see.. the demons had a good hold on me and I wouldn't let them out either. The church people insisted that I needed to come back several times to get them all out because I resisted.

Whatever. I didn't go back. it was crazy! I mean, they were trying to tell me that the care bear my mom sent me put a demon in me. Not to mention (gasp!) the dungeons and dragons game I played. Oh, those were the days too... back when a D&D game could last for 48 hours. Straight. I miss that (well, not so much now... I don't have the stamina I did when I was 19 or 20)

Really. I loved my aunt dearly, but she was pretty gullible. It's really too bad that there are churches out there that tell people that crap.

long time no blog

I am so bad. I got busy or lazy and didn't post on my blog.

I didn't get the job in my previous post. Apparently the department director decided she didn't want anyone who already worked in the department, so it didn't matter how qualified I was for the job, I wouldn't have gotten it no matter what. Bitch. I am still a little bitter about it.

Today the belly dancers are walking in the 4th of July parade. So soon I'm going to have to get ready in my red, white and blue costume. At least it's not going to be hot as hades this year. Last year we also got stuck on the wrong side of a train, and then were forced to walk fast to catch up to the rest of the parade. So instead of dance walking... we had to practically run. We were SO wiped out last year it wasn't funny. I sure hope there's no train this year. That would suck ass.

In new news, I am taking two internet classes through my local community college. Speed Spanish and intro to Excel. The intro class is probably mostly too easy however it's a prerequisite to continue to the next classes. I am currently the person who knows how to use it best at work, and I barely know it all, so I decided I'm going to be as expert as I can so that people at work will need me more. I'm going to do the same with Access. I already get called to help someone 3 or 4 times a day, might as well know even more. The spanish class is hard though.

ok, need to get ready for the parade.